


Silent Tears

by Kenobicontent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst and Feels, Episode: s04e15 Deception, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, One Shot, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenobicontent/pseuds/Kenobicontent
Summary: A single night that had turned into Ahsoka’s fairytale had suddenly and unexpectedly twisted into a hellish nightmare, all too fast for her to process.She couldn’t escape. She couldn’t breathe.Her grandmaster—Obi-Wan—was dying.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 8
Kudos: 117





	Silent Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Today I decided to try something different, and I have to say I’m pretty excited about the result! S04E15: Deception is one of my all time favorite episodes of the Clone Wars, and I feel as if there could have been so much more going on behind the scenes, so I decided to give it a try and write from Ahsoka’s perspective, because she’s literally the one who feels Obi-Wan dying in her arms. There must have been a whirlwind of emotions bottled inside her during this moment, and she deserves justice. I hope this piece breaks your heart as much as it did mine while writing this!

A single night that had turned into Ahsoka’s fairytale had suddenly and unexpectedly twisted into a hellish nightmare, all too fast for her to process.

She couldn’t escape. She couldn’t breathe.

One moment she was strolling through the dark city of Coruscant with her master and grandmaster—having just come back from a dinner at Dex’s, playfully firing witty quips back and forth, laughing to her heart’s content as she watched the two elder Jedi argue about which lightsaber form was superior—and feeling nothing but elated at the brief time of leave they had been awarded with before their next mission in a week. 

And the next, she was cradling her grandmaster’s body in her arms, blood freezing at the agonizing gasps escaping his mouth as he struggled for air, at the distress in his normally soothing blue eyes, at the way his body was clearly shutting down from the mortal wound enveloping the left side of his chest where his heart had once beat so strong and steady, doing everything in her power to keep her tears at bay.

Her grandmaster—Obi-Wan—was dying. 

And Anakin, probably now chasing the target like a madman on the rooftops of the seemingly endless buildings of Coruscant, was nowhere in sight to help.

Swallowing thickly, Ahsoka turned her gaze back down to her grandmaster, heart shattering at the sight of him rapidly losing the fight and did her best to catch his attention before it was too late.

“Master Kenobi,” she murmured, forcing the trembles to evade from her voice. He still wasn’t looking at her, eyes still fluttering, clearly not having enough strength anymore to open them completely. She desperately tried a new tactic. _“Obi-Wan.”_

With a pained wheeze, the ginger-haired Jedi painfully dragged his bright blue orbs open to meet her gaze, lips slightly parted. Ahsoka suddenly realized she had never witnessed him in such a state of _helplessness_.

“Just...stay with me,” she encouraged him, placing one hand under the back of his head to support it just as she would with a child, because if she didn’t, she was almost completely certain it would fall back. “We’re _going_ to get help.”

Then, rapidly dropping her mental shields in an attempt to summon Anakin through their bond, Ahsoka shouted, _Master! Where are you?_

Almost instantly Anakin’s frantic voice filled her head, breaths coming in uneven as he was evidently putting up a good chase for his target. _I’ve almost got him! How’s Obi-Wan holding up?_

Ahsoka’s heart clenched as a labored wheeze came spiraling out of her grandmaster’s mouth, tears instantly dotting the edge of her vision at the excruciating sound. He wasn’t going to last much longer.

_Master, forget the target. I’m losing him fast. He needs you._

And with that, Ahsoka allowed their bond to darken as she directed the entirety of her attention to Obi-Wan. “Oh, Force,” she whispered softly, the smallest quiver escaping her lips at the horrifying sight lying in her arms. “I wish I knew how to heal you, Master.”

“No, ‘soka,” came the weakest murmur in return, much to her surprise. She hadn’t believed Obi-Wan would be coherent enough to actually answer her. Still, the sound of his voice, as faint as it was, was something that flooded the entirety of her body with warmth. “Can’t do that…” he continued. “Would kill you.”

“I have to at least try,” Ahsoka insisted tearfully.

 _“No.”_ Obi-Wan’s command was much firmer this time. Staring down at his face, Ahsoka noticed the slight fire that had come roaring into his blue eyes, an evident order inside them to not even attempt _anything_. 

“Yes, Master,” she finally complied shakily, already feeling the rack of sobs traveling up her body in a threat of escaping. However, she still didn’t set them free. Jedi weren’t to show any traces of emotion. And as much as she wanted to cry and pull Obi-Wan’s warm body into her shoulder to embrace him in their first _and_ final hug, she knew he wouldn’t approve. So, she painfully kept herself composed.

But then, her grandmaster’s next move had her freezing yet melting at the same time where she sat. His hand weakly came up to rest on her cheek, and in an act of shock and adoration, Ahsoka found herself leaning into his warm touch. The smallest flicker of a smile that she deciphered as loving crossed Obi-Wan’s lips for the briefest moment, his eyes slowly beginning to drift closed. Ahsoka knew he was leaving her any time now.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out, and _there._ She saw the slightest shine to his blue eyes, as if he were doing everything in his power to keep his tears hidden from her to see.

“You don’t have to be sorry about anything,” Ahsoka whispered in horror, slowly shaking her head in denial. Even while nearing death, Obi-Wan managed to find something to apologize for. It was heartbreaking to hear.

“Not...true, P-padawan.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. So instead, she found a stray strand of hair that had fallen in her grandmaster’s face, and gently and lovingly, she brushed it out of his eyes, eliciting the smallest shiver to escape him. His breaths were gradually becoming quieter and quieter, the pure adrenaline that had overtaken his body now beginning to vanish. And all the while, Ahsoka held him steadily in her arms, pushing out as much peace and tranquility as she was deemed capable of through the Force and into his body, determined to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she sensed him go. His eyes had already fluttered shut a while ago, his painful gasps having ceased as well, quickly dying down to soft, uneven breaths. By the time Ahsoka was no longer receiving waves of gratitude from her grandmaster through the Force in return for providing him relief, her eyes slowly opened, moving down to find Obi-Wan lying lax in her arms, completely unaware of the world around him.

“Master?” She said hoarsely, throat as dry as sandpaper.

There was no reply to be received.

“Master,” Ahsoka tried again. Her tears had now escaped, endlessly streaming down her cheeks. “Please...answer me, Master.”

Obi-Wan didn’t wake up.

_“Master.”_

Ahsoka stared at her grandmaster numbly. Obi-Wan, who had been so full of energy and life just a few minutes earlier, was now boneless in her arms. His chest was eerily still too. Spotting another lock of ginger hair that had fallen into his face, Ahsoka tenderly brushed it to the side, unsure of what else to do. It then occurred to her that she would never witness his brilliant, bright blue eyes open ever again.

Ahsoka closed her own briefly in acceptance, allowing her trail of tears to continue. It wasn’t like she had anyone to hide them from anymore. 

Anakin still hadn’t appeared.

“I failed you, Master,” she whispered, her eyes opening again and darting back to Obi-Wan, as if falsely hoping he would wake any moment. He still, however, hadn’t moved even a fraction of an inch in her grasp. Carefully studying him through her misty vision, Ahsoka then noticed how young her grandmaster now appeared; in sleep, he looked like a child would, completely tranquil and at peace in his dreams. 

Although, Ahsoka knew all too well that he wasn’t resting.

The sensation of footsteps thundering against the ground suddenly had her realizing that Anakin was approaching. She rapidly wiped the tears clean from her face before he could see them, but by the time he neared her and Obi-Wan, she already felt her eyes growing heavy as fresh ones quickly replaced the fallen ones. Closing them in fear of them trickling down her face, she waited for Anakin to speak.

“How is he?” Her master’s voice was crackly.

Finally, Ahsoka looked up, met Anakin’s soft gaze. Her lips parted as she struggled to form a sentence, but words failed her. Her tears were nearly ready to spill down her face. She knew that if she even uttered a sound, she would no longer have control of her body.

“Obi-Wan.” Anakin slowly knelt down beside his former master’s body, cautiously placing one hand on the elder Jedi’s shoulder. The look in his eyes was filled with denial, although Ahsoka could easily sense he had realized what had occurred. After Obi-Wan remained quiet and still, Anakin tried again.

 _“Obi-Wan.”_ Her master was now shaking the prone body in her arms. Ahsoka could do nothing but watch in grief. Anakin’s jostling became harsher, firmer. Obi-Wan remained limp, completely unaware of his former Padawan’s attempts to revive him.

 _“Obi-Wan!”_ Anakin exclaimed, a mix of both a cry and shout. Even through her blurry vision, Ahsoka could make out the pure horror and disbelief etched on his youthful features. His shaking of his master hadn’t slowed, not even when it drew a large crowd, the excited murmurs rapidly angering Ahsoka as they chatted amongst each other like a life hadn’t just been lost.

Anakin was still jostling Obi-Wan as if he would wake any moment. Finally, Ahsoka couldn’t take it anymore. She placed a hand on her master’s shoulder, resulting in Anakin to stop in his tracks and meet her gaze with his own wild one.

“You have to let go,” she whispered shakily.

Her master’s features instantly softened at the gentleness lacing her words. He stared at her for a long time, and Ahsoka soon found herself wondering if she had actually gotten through to him when his bright blue eyes hardened once again, teeth gritting against each other so harshly she worried they’d squeak.

For a brief moment, Ahsoka thought Anakin was directing these emotions at _her_ , and she nearly cowered away in fear, but these suspicions quickly dissipated when she realized her master was simply infuriated with the _situation_ , not his Padawan. Still, the unpredictable gleam in his eyes...it was a bit unsettling for Ahsoka to witness.

Then, Anakin carefully released Obi-Wan from her grasp, resulting in her grandmaster to lay in his former apprentice’s arms instead. The eldest Jedi’s head softly lolled back against Anakin’s shoulder, devoid of all signs of life, and Ahsoka found herself trembling at the sight. Her master then rose to his feet, Obi-Wan carefully being held in his arms. And without another word, Anakin stormed past her, quickly brushing through the crowd and disappearing within the darkness of the city streets.

Ahsoka sat motionless on the ground, her entire body numb. She could feel the eyes of the crowd on her, but really, she could have cared less. Slowly standing, she took one step forward, then another. Her legs felt wobbly. However, she managed to stay upright, distractedly slipping through the large cluster of people that had been watching the scene unfold before beginning to search for her master.

It didn’t take long to find him. Ahsoka soon spotted him rounding a corner into an alley and jogged after him to close the space between them. She could sense that Anakin was aware of her presence, but he didn’t utter a single word. The direction they were currently journeying in was unfamiliar to her, but Ahsoka simply figured her master was taking a more private path to the Jedi Temple, one where they wouldn’t be noticed or disturbed. She quickly realized that this would be for the best.

Her eyes flicked back to her master.

The prone form resting in Anakin’s arms was a sight Ahsoka would remember for the rest of her days. Obi-Wan’s limbs were softly swinging back and forth along with his former Padawan’s movements, occasionally bumping into Anakin’s legs, but the young Jedi paid no mind to it. He kept his eyes straightforward, as if he were too afraid to look down and remember what was there.

He didn’t acknowledge Ahsoka at all, either. And while she would never admit it, deep down she was grateful for the lack of attention she was receiving. 

Several minutes passed as the two continued down the empty streets in pure quietness, and only when she was certain that Anakin wasn’t going to turn around and face her, did Ahsoka finally allow her tears to fall.

Harsh sobs racked through her body, but she kept them inaudible. Her master didn’t need any more stress resting on his shoulders, and the sight of his Padawan growing emotional would only make things worse.

So Ahsoka cried silent tears.

They may have been nonexistent to the world around her and to Anakin, but to Ahsoka, they were still tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Well...I just made myself depressed. If anyone is curious, I used the Moulin Rouge - Death Scene Soundtrack for inspiration on this piece. Go and give it a listen. Even though in the musical it’s taking place during Satine’s death and Christian is holding her in his arms, I think it may just portray this heartbreaking scene between Obi-Wan and Ahsoka perfectly before Anakin shows up. Trust me, if you haven’t heard it, you are missing out. I promise you. Hey, even listen to it while you’re reading this piece. It will have a huge impact. 
> 
> Please review! I love hearing all your comments and opinions!!
> 
> YT Source: Death Scene - Moulin Rouge! Original Score


End file.
